Blog

Survivors of Suicide Loss

November 19th was International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day this year. Being a loved one for someone who has completed suicide is unimaginably hard. It is such a complex grief. So how do we move on with our lives so we don’t stay stuck? How do we continue to hold love for our child, parent, relative, or friend while still loving ourselves when they are gone? I have heard many people blame themselves. They blame themselves for not seeing the signs or knowing what that person was feeling or thinking. They blame themselves for not being a good support. I’ve

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Telling Healthy Relationships from Unhealthy Ones

No relationship is perfect… a relationship is two people, with two different experiences, and two different ways of thinking. A relationship can be with family, friends, or intimate partners. So naturally, there are going to be differences. Our history, previous interactions, and relationships influence how we interact in our current relationships. Just because someone did something wrong, or did something that seemed malicious, doesn’t mean it was on purpose. I’m a firm believer that everyone deserves a second chance. It’s not always easy telling healthy relationships from unhealthy ones. Here’s some steps to figure it out: o Communicate your boundarieso

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Enjoying the Holidays

“Enjoying the holidays.” As a kid, you probably got super excited about them with thoughts of eating too much candy on Halloween, dozing off into a turkey coma while watching football or a parade, or counting down the days to Christmas. As an adult, you may identify with the common, collective groan surrounding the upcoming holiday season. Balancing work, school schedules, (sometimes) demanding extended family, and exceedingly high expectations sets so many of us up for emotional disasters. If I am not careful, I can find myself stuck in an over-commit and under-deliver cycle leaving me tired, frustrated, and feeling

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Self-Differentiation: Where Do I End and They Begin?

Where do I end and they begin? A major milestone in every independent adult’s life is establishing self-differentiation. What is differentiation of self, you ask? Well, it’s the beginning of adulthood. Self-differentiation describes a few processes but begins with a separation from a person’s family of origin (we, in the industry call this the FOO) as they embark on their own journey in life. In short, it’s growing up, but it’s not just growing up — it’s figuring out who you are and developing your own secure identity. This milestone is typically smooth for folks who grew up in healthy

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Interrupting Our Pain Cycle

Have you ever looked back on arguments and wondered why you react a certain way when dealing with conflict? Perhaps those closest to you have told you that that you’re controlling, you withdraw, or you explode and blame others when a conflict occurs. Maybe you’ve even lost relationships because of these patterns. Do you ever feel dysregulated or unable to manage your emotions? That you’re in a situation and don’t know why or what to do about it? The term for this pattern of dysregulation and unhealthy responses is called a Pain Cycle. By understanding our own Pain Cycle, we

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