Category: Behavior

Why I Love Boundaries

I’m going to nerd out a bit and talk about my favorite topic: boundaries! I know that sounds ridiculous, but I had never heard of boundaries prior to becoming a therapist. I’ve come to love boundaries and, as something that has helped me so much, boundaries happen to be my fave discussion! My Story I used to have really horrible boundaries. I let people walk all over me, and I was constantly giving and giving… and giving. It felt like I didn’t have strong connections with family and friends, and I felt alone. It was awful feeling like I was

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How to Navigate Bullying with Your Children

Navigating bullying starts as early as pre-school and early elementary school. Kiddos and teens have to consistently deal with bullying not just in-person but through social media. So how do we parents help our children navigate through this dilemma, especially when bullying starts so young? How do we even know bullying is happening when our children probably don’t understand the concept yet? There are four key things parents can do to prevent and navigate the reality of bullying: Talk to your children Listen for red flags Exemplify self-care Know the lesson you want them to learn Next, we’ll break these

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How To Enforce Boundaries

Hi, parents of teenagers! How are you holding up? Seriously… you okay? I know it’s rough. On top of navigating their moodiness, you’re trying to keep them safe and give them more independence. You hope that they’re making good choices. Because you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did, and you try to be there whenever they need you. You wonder if their friends are good influences. Maybe you wonder if their struggles are normal or if they are evidence that you failed somehow… I might be projecting a bit on that last one.  Thankfully, there is

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Over Perceiving Threat, Under Perceiving Safety 

I walked through the grocery store jumping around from side to side sure that something was about to happen. When I turned the corner, I put my arms up ready to fight, as an 80-year-old woman who was no threat turned the corner and almost collided with me. Having just returned home from Afghanistan it was understandable that I was on guard, but what I didn’t know then was WHY?  Why was I walking around as if someone or something was about to harm me? Another time, a friend made a comment that made me feel insecure and BAM! There

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Helping Children Navigate Emotions

Do you remember your parents talking to you about how to feel anger, sadness, or any emotion at that?  A common answer I get from clients is “no”. I can definitely say I don’t remember anyone in my family telling me how to feel or express any type of emotion.  This is very common.  I feel society has engrained in us that there is no need to teach our kiddos how to show and feel emotion.  I’ve worked with many different cultures and all but one has told me showing emotion is a sign of weakness; yet I also hear

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Challenge. Nurture. Repeat.

Several years ago, I was walking through the primate exhibit at the zoo when a baby monkey caught my eye.  If you ever want to get my attention quickly, put a baby anything within my view and I will be captivated.  So, there I was oooing and aaaaing over this cute little animal.  As I was watching the baby monkey, I couldn’t help but notice something happening between the mother monkey and the baby.  Let me see if I can paint this picture. At initial glance, they mother and infant were cozied up together with the baby clinging to the

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Managing My Child’s Behaviors Started with Me

In the fall of 2016, my husband and I became licensed foster parents. Everyone told us we would get a nice “honeymoon phase,” before behaviors escalated with the kids who came into our home. I was caught off guard when we did not experience the “honeymoon phase.” I felt unprepared and overwhelmed. I began to question if I actually knew what I was doing. The information from all the classes I had taken seemed to disappear. “How will we ever get through this?” My husband and I would question. Start with Self Care             Managing behaviors comes with practical skills

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Behavior is Communication

As I prepare for our upcoming training “The Handbook You Wish Your Child Came With,” I can’t help but feel the excitement to share with you the lessons I have learned about children over the past nine years as a therapist.  It seems to be an innumerable number of times I have heard parents say: I really, really wish my kiddo came with a handbook!   Learning and Training Trust me, I have that same feeling too, like when we decided to get a puppy. I learned a ton in the three weeks that we had him.  For me, it

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