Category: PTSD

Survivors of Suicide Loss

November 19th was International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day this year. Being a loved one for someone who has completed suicide is unimaginably hard. It is such a complex grief. So how do we move on with our lives so we don’t stay stuck? How do we continue to hold love for our child, parent, relative, or friend while still loving ourselves when they are gone? I have heard many people blame themselves. They blame themselves for not seeing the signs or knowing what that person was feeling or thinking. They blame themselves for not being a good support. I’ve

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Post-Traumatic Growth

We all want to recover from the trauma and hardship we’ve experienced in life, and there are many theories on how to do that. While we’d all like to grow in the wake of our harmful experiences, it can be hard to find “resilience” in the aftermath. As it turns out, resilience and post-traumatic growth are not the same thing, and a misunderstanding of the difference can lead to more shame and hurt. I’ll start with a story. Many years ago at a women’s event, a friend of mine presented what ended up being a very meaningful craft. My friend

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Over Perceiving Threat, Under Perceiving Safety 

I walked through the grocery store jumping around from side to side sure that something was about to happen. When I turned the corner, I put my arms up ready to fight, as an 80-year-old woman who was no threat turned the corner and almost collided with me. Having just returned home from Afghanistan it was understandable that I was on guard, but what I didn’t know then was WHY?  Why was I walking around as if someone or something was about to harm me? Another time, a friend made a comment that made me feel insecure and BAM! There

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How Our Bodies Store Trauma

We now have more scientific evidence than ever showing the relationship between the mind and body. Most of us understand how diet can influence mental health (example: giving a child a sugary snack before bedtime). However, we also need to understand the very real physical effects of psychological stress and trauma on the body, particularly with trauma that hasn’t been fully processed or even acknowledged by the person who experienced it. Unprocessed trauma may get “stored” or “stuck” –not just in our subconscious mind and memory–but throughout our physical being. Trauma is Trauma: Big or Small Most of us will experience some

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Healing Trauma- Part 2

If you recall, in my last blog I talked through the definition of trauma and how trauma can get stored in the body.  Trauma leaves an impact long after it’s over.  Chronically freezing, trying to escape, fighting, or collapsing.  But why? Why do our bodies get caught like this? How We Get Stuck Well, there are few explanations for this: Time Stamping: Our central nervous system (made up of our brain stem and spinal cord) is terrible at time stamping.  A lot of people ask me to define “time stamping,” which makes sense.  It’s not a common term.  Time stamping

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Healing Trauma- Part 1

Trauma.  This is such a buzz word right now.  I’m grateful in some ways that more people and leaders are recognizing the impact of trauma and doing something about it.  As with many buzz words, though, the word can become confusing. What is trauma? How do I know if it applies to me? No one ever hit me growing up, this isn’t something I went through. Let’s start from square one.  First, in the past we have tried to define trauma in two categories: -Big T trauma -Little T trauma Big T trauma includes what comes to mind for most

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Every First Responder Deserves Solace

“The experience I have had is that once you start talking about [experiencing a mental health struggle], you realize that actually you’re part of quite a big club.” — Prince Harry             I’m currently a 23-year veteran of a law enforcement agency.  My career started as a patrol deputy for approximately 5 years.  As a patrol deputy/first responder, I patrolled the streets responding to routine calls, as well as emergency calls for service.  In my later years in patrol, I eventually became a field training officer where I trained new recruits on how to become law enforcement professionals. I was

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