Category: Relationship

How To Enforce Boundaries

Hi, parents of teenagers! How are you holding up? Seriously… you okay? I know it’s rough. On top of navigating their moodiness, you’re trying to keep them safe and give them more independence. You hope that they’re making good choices. Because you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did, and you try to be there whenever they need you. You wonder if their friends are good influences. Maybe you wonder if their struggles are normal or if they are evidence that you failed somehow… I might be projecting a bit on that last one.  Thankfully, there is

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Raising Them to Leave Us Fostering Resilience  Pt. 2

Fostering resilience in teens can be scary for us as parents as we learned in Part 1 of this blog post. By providing them with the appropriate supports, we are helping them to launch successfully into adulthood. Early development of resilience. The fundamentals of resiliency start in infancy and continue on into early childhood. During this period, little ones are completely reliant on their primary attachment figure, be it a parent or other caregiver, to meet their every need. Through this bond they learn to trust and that they are worthy of having their needs met. Lots of nurturing and lots of

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Attachment Trauma

If you struggle with relationships, you are not alone. There are some dominant cultural narratives that assumes there is something wrong with us, but science and research offers us a more expansive view. Our relationship challenges may be rooted in what is known as “attachment trauma”. Attachment Theory We need to first understand attachment to understand attachment trauma. Attachment theory argues humans are born with a need to form a close emotional bond with a caregiver and that attachment is critical to a young child’s development. Both the presence and quality of attachment matter. If our bonding is strong, we

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How Fostering Challenged My Relationships

There are many relationships that happen through being a foster parent. If I had to name them all, it would probably take up most of this blog. Then there are relationships with friends and family that were there before we became foster parents. When I became a foster parent in 2016, I heard about all the challenges with behaviors and all the challenges I would face in relation to the child coming into my home, but what I did not realize is the challenges it would add to my own relationships. Relationship with significant other It was about 6 months

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Importance of Positive Relationships for Our Mental Health

Relationships of all types have a direct effect on our day to day lives and emotions.  I’m sure you’ve experienced having a fight with your kiddo or teen, partner, family member, boss, etc. and it just put you in a bad mood…I know I have!  That’s because interactions and connections affect our mind and our body.  Positive vs Negative Talk I often find myself having a talk with my clients about positive and negative language.  Consider the social experiments schools had their students do a plant.  If not seen it, watch it here.  Definitely worth it!  The school took two

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How to Stay Connected to Your Kids Post Romantic Relationship

            After a separation or divorce, relationships can be difficult. We may find ourselves separating from our children by getting lost in things like work or even lost in new dating experiences.  However, this is a crucial time to show to your kiddos that love still exists, relationships are good, and each should still be celebrated!             I feel one of the most innocent and amazing things about kiddos is their ability to love unconditionally and have all the hope in the world.  That is something we should be fostering intentionally so we are not hurting their ability to love

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My Partner Won’t Go with Me to Couples Therapy

What do you do if your partner doesn’t believe in couples therapy or doesn’t think it is needed?  You can’t force someone to go to therapy, but you can see if they are willing to try. Try A Different Approach This problem is super common and there are many factors that can play a role in couples therapy. If your partner is hesitant to give it a shot, there are ways to approach it with them. Start with having a conversation about why they are don’t believe in it. To be a supportive partner, your first step should always be

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How Trauma Can Impact You as a Couple

You get into a relationship, you’re getting to know each other, starting to trust and rely on each other, and then BAM! Something happens that throws you or your partner off. Something makes you infuriated, terribly sad and hurt, or extremely nervous and worried. But what could that “something” be? This blog is about how our past traumas can continue to affect our relationships as a couple. How Trauma Enters Relationships The very nature of relationships is connection. It’s getting to know, trust, rely, and commit to someone over time. Our past wounds, hurts, or traumatic experiences enter a relationship

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